


Wishful

by AnonymousWatermelon13



Category: Marthe Woertman - Fandom, Original Work, Watermelons - Fandom
Genre: Dating, Depression, F/F, Girlfriends - Freeform, Happy, Happy Ending, Jealousy, LGBTQ Character, Marth Watermelon, Marth Woertman - Freeform, Marth Wubbles, Marthe Watermelon, Marthe Woertman - Freeform, References to Depression, Retail Therapy, Sad, depression showers, marth - Freeform, marthe - Freeform, watermelon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousWatermelon13/pseuds/AnonymousWatermelon13
Summary: Marth has been in love with her best friend forever, but when she hears that her best friend just got a new girlfriend Marth feels her heartbreak.Putting on a happy face until her friend leaves, when she can finally break down. Will Marth ever confess her feelings or has she destined to be just the best friend forever.I was sad, wrote this.Not the greatest work but writing helps me not feel sad and unfortunately, poor Marth just got dragged in to become a character in a story so yeah... enjoy I guess???Written in Marth's POV.If there are mistakes I'm sorry but they're gonna stay cause I'm not rereading this because if I do I WILL cry and I don't feel like doing that again because it's all I've done for the last week so yeah no. To be happier we write Marth fanfics.ON THE OFF CHANCE MARTH FINDS THESE I AM SO SORRY, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN AWESOME CHARACTER TO WRITE!
Relationships: Marthe Woertmelon / Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s)





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Marth Watermelon](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Marth+Watermelon).



I sat there on that old worn-out couch staring blankly over YN's shoulder at that now off-white wall, desperately trying to hold back the tears and look happy. Her words all blurred together, going on about how pretty she was and how she could draw and play bass, maybe they'd do art together, or she would draw YN. I just droned it out. It was taking everything in me not to break down crying.

How does one tell their best friend that they're hopelessly and utterly in love with them? That you get lost in their eyes every time they talk to you or that your stomach is filled with butterflies when they smile at you or call you cute. How do you tell her that you're consumed by jealousy when she tells you about the girls she picked up from the club the night before, and you feel like you going to be sick? How do you tell her that you wish she would look at you the way she is looking at her new girlfriend right now? That all you want in the world is for her to talk about you like that? For your movie nights and cuddles to not be so platonic. How do you tell her that you want to be hers?

So instead, I sat there listening to how amazing this new girl was, coking down my mint tea, anything to stop me throwing up. Oh god, all I wanted to do was throw up, I felt sick. I was happy for her; if this made YN happy, then I was happy for her. I was, but there was this part of me that just wished I didn't have to hear about it. That I could pretend that maybe one day she would be mine and I would be hers but that's rather difficult when your best friend is right there telling you how smooth another girl's lips are and that she tasted like strawberries and how her back arched or the noises she made. But I just smiled along, what else could I do, she was happy, and I wasn't going to destroy that.

When YN finally left a few hours later, I stood and walked her to the door, trying to keep my breathing under control as soon as the door closed, and I could hear YN's footsteps fade out down the hallway; that's when it all hit me. The tears I had barely been holding back fulled my eyes, one traitorous tear escaped, and it seemed that seemed to be the key and opened the flood gates. I collapsed against the door, sliding to the floor in a tearful hyperventilating mess.

I don't know how long I lay there choking on my sobs before they quietened to hiccups, and I managed to drag myself off the floor and to go shower. Boiling hot showers always made me feel better and calmed me down. The heat of the water mimics human contact, which is why people who are depressed, touch starved, have anxiety, among other things, often take such long hot showers. They are desperate for physical contact and comfort, but I guess that explained a lot about me then, didn't it?

I climbed out of the shower after I finally couldn't bear the freezing cold water anymore, I don't know when the water had gone from hot to cold I guess the hot water had just run out at some point. Sluggishly I slowly made my way to my room, grabbing some old sweatpants that were haphazardly thrown over a chair the night before along with the sweatshirt YN had left behind, it was slightly small on me, despite being rather large on her but I didn't care, it was hers, and it smelt like her... As I pulled it over my head, I was engulfed in the smell of YN's cologne, which triggered the tears again, this time though I managed to collapse on my bed. Eventually, at some point, I passed out.

Hoping desperately that I won't wake up until the next morning and that the whole of today had been a dream. Awaking a few hours later I glanced to the side, seeing I had left my curtains open and the sky was pitch black, deciding I should probably close those now, so I don't get rudely awoken in the morning by the sun I got out of bed to pull the curtains closed.

I was climbing back into bed my phone went off. I reached over and grabbed it from where it had been plugged in from earlier only to see it was an Instagram notification. Curious I clicked on it, I wish I hadn't. Maybe if I hadn't, I would have ended up spending the next week in bed just avoiding the world. But I decided to be curious and click on the notification only to have a photo of YN and her new girlfriend making out slap bang in my face. Guess they had decided to make it Insta-official.

With that, I closed the app, after leaving a rushed comment of "I'm so happy for you two!" and some random heart emojis before plugging it in, rolling over and breaking down crying all over again.


	2. 2.

It was a week later when I finally dragged myself out of bed. I had gotten a sudden urge to clean. Everything needed to be reorganized. To be clean. I needed it to be clean. Breathe. Calm down. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. We are not going to have a panic attack right now, I thought quietly to myself. I started with a shower, washed my hair using my favorite shampoo and conditioner. I remember when YN had introduced it to me, and I loved it because of how amazing it made her hair smell. I shook my head, trying to get read of that though, I didn't want to be things about that right now. I didn't want o start my morning off crying and thinking of her. I scrubbed my body until it was red and gave myself a mini facial.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning anything and everything I could, still desperate to think of anything but YN and her new girlfriend. I had a whole bunch of missed messages from her, and I think even a couple missed calls. I know I shouldn't be ignoring YN, she hasn't done anything wrong, but right now, I just can't quite put up the emotional energy to deal with YN being overly happy and telling me all about how perfect her new girlfriend is.

I washed the entire mountain of clothes I had been saying I would get to for the last two weeks, dried them packed them away before starting in the kitchen. I emptied the entire fridge, washing all the shelves, drawers, and cleaning out all the ice from the sides of the freezer, and while I repacked everything, I yelled off items I would need to buy to Alexa to add to my grocery list. I did all the dishes that I had been avoiding for the past week, which led me to cleaning-out the build-up of cups and all the take-out boxes from my bedroom. I tided everything and changed my bedsheets, having been lying on them for the last week they needed to be washed.

It was reaching around 3 pm when I finally finished everything, and my apartment looked like it was ready for an open house. I took another quick shower, having gotten a bit sweaty and dirty from all the cleaning, changed into some tights, and my favorite T-shirt, with some old sneakers. Honestly, it was the first thing I grabbed from my closet. I threw my current favorite puffy jacket over as it was getting a tad cold outside, grabbed my car keys, and headed out to drive to Target and then to the store for groceries. I need some retail therapy; while I was cleaning, I realized I could do with getting a few things, like some new pillows for my bed, the current ones were awful, and I had had them for the last two years. I also wanted to get a new comforter and well its Target, so we shall see what else I would walk out with because really who knows.

I spent 5 hours shopping away my sad in target and had come out having decided to redecorate my apartment entirely. I hadn't changed anything since I had moved in after college, and even then, I had just bought the things I had had in my college apartment; I could do with a fresh new start. Shopping made me happy. For the first time in a week, I was smiling and didn't feel like I was going to break down crying every 5 minutes. By the time I had left Target, I had realized that the grocery store was probably closed, so I figured that one more night of take-out wouldn't kill me, and I could just go grocery shopping tomorrow.

It took me three trips to carry everything into my apartment, and honestly, I was exhausted. I checked my watch, and there was only another ten minutes before my food was supposed to arrive. I hopped into the shower to rinse off quickly, changing into some comfy sweats and a tank top. As I was just finishing getting changed when I heard someone ring my doorbell; I answered the door while still towel drying my hair; I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelt my food. I quickly paid the delivery guy.

I knew that it was going to drive me crazy if I didn't start work on unpacking all the things I had bought today, so I turned on some music, took out my food so I could eat as I worked. I ended up working until late into the night, but eventually, I had everything done. All of my old things had been packed up into boxes, ready to be donated to goodwill, and everything else was either packed away in cupboards or in their places where they needed to be.

I was finally feeling a bit more myself, I had processed YN getting a girlfriend, and I was happy for her, I don't know if I'd be ready to meet the next girlfriend any time soon, but I was happy for YN that she was happy.

I sent YN a quick text just saying that I was sorry I hadn't been answering I was just dealing with some stuff and had been busy. She didn't need to know I had been busy crying over her, and if anything, if she came over, she'd think I had been working on redecorating. YN texted back, saying it was fine. She understood, and she was there for me if I needed anything, and we should grab coffee soon.

I just stood there, shaking a bit. I loved YN; she was my best friend in the entire world. But I also loved her more than that, and I had been trying everything I could to not think about it, about her.. I was trying everything I could to stay out of my mind, the longer I stayed out of my mind, the less time I would have to feel. The less time I was inside my head, the less time I would want to break down and cry again.

So I sent YN a text saying I'd love to and I'd let her know. I knew I couldn't avoid YN forever and that running away from my problems didn't help anything, but right now, it hurt too much to even attempt at facing. I just needed time to process and get my mind ready to be able to deal with everything, and then I would see YN again.

For now, though, I plugged my phone in to charge and went to shower for the fourth time today, this time it wasn't to get clean, this time it was to try clam down. I could feel my breathing rate picking up, and my breathing exercises weren't helping stop it. I didn't want to have another panic attack, so shower it was.

I got out the shower, half an hour later, absolutely plagued with exhaustion, collapsed into my freshly made bed, hoping I was tired enough to have a dreamless sleep tonight.

I would meet YN in a few days when I had gathered my strength, and I could smile and tell her I was happy for her and mean it. I would be there and be a supportive friend for her because that is what she deserves; she deserves to be with someone who makes her happy, and if that's her new girlfriend, then I will support her and that even if it kills me a bit inside. I promised myself though that if anything happens and they break up, I will be there with all her favorite movies, ice cream, and cuddles, but I will tell her how I feel. I won't let her go this time.

With that final thought, I passed out.


	3. Epilogue

What Marth didn't know was that it would be, in fact, a mere six weeks later when YN and her girlfriend would get into another massive argument, they had been doing a lot of those, but this time would be the final one. Marth would be there with a full breakup package of comfort and cuddles, Yn's favorite oversized hoodie of Marth's and all the Shrek movies and they would spend the next three days huddled up in Yn's bed cuddling and watching movies before Marth got up the courage to tell YN how she felt. She would be thrilled when YN kissed her and then with a blush on her cheeks quietly whispered back that she liked Marth too and just hadn't been sure how to tell Marth.

The end.


End file.
